Poetry Schizophrenia

i was improving so they told me to by Martina Kontos

try coming off my pills. we reduced it slowly, five milligrams

at first to see if any of my symptoms would resurface


and they booked me in for an appointment a month later

to check on my progress. i thought i was doing fine


i didn’t notice anything particularly wrong except

my stalkers had returned to hunt me, regurgitated


from the depths of the rat-infested city i call home.

they had started watching me in my house again


noting every move i made, every thought i tried

not to think, every curve and angle of my tired


sagging body. but i didn’t realise this until i spoke

with my case worker, didn’t realise that i had slipped


back into this way of thinking as easily as putting on

my own skin. and so, they increased my medication


again, until my clarity about the clockwork of society

blurred and i felt comforted about everything


and nothing at all because either i am being helped

or my insight is being tampered with for the sake


of a blind world that digs cosy pits for itself to fall into,

pits heated by the warmth of the hell they call obliviousness.  

Martina Kontos is a writer, mental health warrior, cookie addict and social bushwalker living in Adelaide, South Australia. Her aim is to help the world better understand mental illness, one piece at a time. She is published in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Nonconformist Magazine, Open Minds Quarterly, and elsewhere.